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“Im sorry… I never meant to take you for granted. I never meant to control you.
So much i need to say and yet so much you have move forward fromI watch you… I see how you’ve recovered so much better than i ever could.
We both knew it would end up this way and we both knew you would win
You’ve always been the stronger one.
Ive always been weak.Do you think about me.. alone in the world? do you wonder how im doing?
Ive always needed you more
The days are going by
I wish i was easier on you
I wish you could have seen the real me
the one trying to love you the only way i knew
the only way i was taughtIm sorry. There is so much more i wish we would say
so much more that can be said
but nothing we havent already moved forward from.”
This was another one of those blogs that i wrote weeks ago and didnt post it. i do that often now because i realize my heart is a big fat liar.
I cant trust it
I should have never trusted it
I see this now because I went and married a man who could express his un dying love for me one second and take a vow before God and the next second throw away every picture we ever had together and not pick up a call with my number on the caller id.
How do humans do this to one another?
Im starting to think marriage is a joke.
Im not sure i want to ever get married again
Are we even friends? Can we even be friends?
Probably not is what he would tell me just to make me feel shittier
less wanted and less deserving
Im not falling for it this time
If you really dont want to ever see me again i will grant you that wish
I have done a good job healing
im recovering
I dont stalk you
i dont go over and try and persuade you to come back
I dont cry and make a sceene
These things are huge steps for me
sounds childish but thats how i got my husband to love me and propose
thats why i must let him go and be free
if he loves me then he can re propose someday
maybe down the line
we can be together again
i would only hope
but i wont hold my breath
I need to get healthy
A8nt k?nO EZwA ouT! 